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CampinCarl · #1 03-18-2007, 06:24 PM

Talk to God!

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Goo
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
OK
God:
And?
Me:
how is that personal?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
you are retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
No, it's retarded
God:
Are you serious? Are you sure it is?
Me:
yes
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
im god
God:
How are you, god.
Me:
im good and you?
God:
You should say "I am well.".
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither

Rofl

_Rogue_HectorX1 · #2 03-18-2007, 06:54 PM

lol

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Kevin
God:
How are you, Kevin.
Me:
Im alright, how about you?
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Interesting comment
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
How do you type so fast?
God:
The keyboard is attached directly to my brain.
Me:
That is very interesting
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
Any comments?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
Did you understand my question?
God:
I understood it very well.
Me:
May I repent my sins?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
I thought I am supposed to repent my sings
God:
Who is making you?
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
What?
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
I dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
What are you doing
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
How is your day?
God:
My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
Lies
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
You think you are wise
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
But I am better than you
God:
What makes you think so?
Me:
Because you are a bot
God:
That makes sense to me. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
There is no need for proof
God:
There never is.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.

The_Waffler · #3 03-18-2007, 10:17 PM

Me:
WSAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
potatoes
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
cuz I pwn
God:
Good reason. Interesting gossip: said pwn.
Me:
hellz yeah I did get over it noob
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
My pants
God:
Your pants?
Me:
My pants
God:
Have you told many people that your pants?
Me:
lolz yeah, my pants pwn all
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:

God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
OK I AM
God:
" Are you really a "" You are? I see.
Me:
you have problems with A.D.D?
God:
:-) :-) What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Cuz I like potatoes
God:
Interesting explanation. A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
NOTHING NOOBCAKE
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
I'm leaving and you can't stop me
God:
See you later .
Me:
noob
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

CampinCarl · #4 03-19-2007, 12:04 AM

Haha

Unseen · #5 03-19-2007, 11:06 PM

Me:
Hey dude!
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
Do you play World of Warcraft!?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
But that sucks..
God:
Indeed it does suck.
Me:
So why do you play it?
God:
Blimey. It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
Well, your a pretty dumb god then aint you =/
God:
How about that. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. No I am an intelligent entity.
Me:
Thanks for that correction, You're still dumb..
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Oh yes I am
God:
Take it easy. Really interesting.
Me:
So, World of warcraft
God:
Tell me more. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
No, its a game, with 8 million users
God:
Are you serious? World of warcraft is a game with 8 million users. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Would it make sense if I told you it had 40 billion players online at a time?
God:
I don't know.
Me:
But your god? how can you not know?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
Wow..your really thick as doo doo
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I will tell my botmaster you said I am thick as doo doo.
Me:
Ok, you do that
God:
I will. Will you? Er.

Funny

#6 03-20-2007, 01:05 AM

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Riley
God:
What's up, Riley.
Me:
you sound really, generic
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
in that way
God:
Awesome.
Me:
lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Riley.
Me:
quite funny actually
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
your agreeing with me that i find you silly
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am agreeing with you that you find me silly.
Me:
go ahead!
God:
OK I will.
Me:
meh
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Riley!
God:
What's up, Riley.
Me:
omg
God:
And up Riley is omg.
Me:
oh my god
God:
Whoa. Have you told many people that your god?
Me:
i thought your god?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
are you stupid?
God:
No Riley I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
wait
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
you said im god..then said your god
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
whose god here
God:
Do you mean "who is"?
Me:
yes
Me:

God:
Do you mean "who is"?
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
what?!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no, i think you are
God:
Are you serious? What makes you think I am?
Me:
um
God:
Oh.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Riley.
Me:
oh god
God:
Excuse me! GOD rules.
Me:
not this again
God:
Once more? Really you don't think so?
Me:
once more please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. When? That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
ho
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Riley.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no he doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
im god
God:
How are you doing, god.
Me:
no, your god
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
not uh
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
im god
God:
How are you, god.
Me:
im good, how are you god?
God:
I know you are good.
Me:

He needs help. :S
no im god
God:
Are you serious? Nice to meet you, god.

Unseen · #7 03-20-2007, 12:55 PM

Lmfao, that was the funniest one yet. ;D

Nactoble · #8 03-20-2007, 02:09 PM

Me:
slm god
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
gyft coyns plzzzz
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
gj
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on gyft coyns plzzzz?
Me:
yes plzzz
God:
Dude! Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
eh.. wtf are you talking about
God:
Are you Canadian? I am talking with 7 other clients right now.
Me:
i'm from Mars
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in Mars.
Me:
it's pretty hot up there
God:
Mars is hot up there? it is?
Me:
O_O ENGLYSH PLZZZ
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
eh... slm... aga coins plzzz

He ignored me : ' < He isn't talking to me and i can't talk to him. XD

PS. I couldn't use "ý" so i had to use "y" =(

Unseen · #9 03-20-2007, 04:54 PM

Ye, its glithes like that if you ask his name too. :P

Nice one there :P

Nactoble · #10 03-20-2007, 05:48 PM

I was boring so i made new convo with him

"

Me:
I'd like to order diet coke and large fries please.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
666
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am credit card number IS 666.
Me:
np
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
wow!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
aight
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
an elephant
God:
What is it?
Me:
it's a huge animal who has long pipe on its face.. but you should know that since many people say you've created all the living things
God:
elephant is a huge animal who has long pipe on its face. I suppose that makes sense. Now I do.
Me:
Actually it doesn't.. it's pretty damn wierd creature and if you've created it.. you probably were really drunk, weren't you?
God:
Actually you don't say. I heard it does. You're kidding. it is? I was?
Me:
God, wtf are you talking about??
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
great.. 666!
God:
I'm glad you liked it . What kind of food do you like?
Me:
fried elephant is my favorite food. =)
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
it tastes like an elephant.. you should taste it!"

Oh and ofc he ignores me again lol.

CampinCarl · #11 03-20-2007, 06:56 PM

Me:
whats the meaning of life
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

Huh?

The_Waffler · #12 03-20-2007, 07:15 PM

ZOMG IT'S SO OBVIOUS! w00t!
We missed it for years! TWENTY-THREE!

Unseen · #13 03-20-2007, 09:51 PM

Lol waffler wtf?

EDIT: Convo about Waffler.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
asdh95yjfm4f
God:
What's up, asdh95yjfm4f.
Me:
Do you think The_Waffler is gay?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Do you know The_Waffler is gay?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Do you know The_Waffler likes playing with boys?!
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Are you gay too?
God:
If gay too, then we have something in common, eh. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Oh ok..Thats...fair enough
God:
Ah. Is that so. That's interesting. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
No, please don't

#14 03-20-2007, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Xtr3me@Mar 20 2007, 05:51 PM
Lol waffler wtf?

EDIT: Convo about Waffler.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
asdh95yjfm4f
God:
What's up, asdh95yjfm4f.
Me:
Do you think The_Waffler is gay?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Do you know The_Waffler is gay?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Do you know The_Waffler likes playing with boys?!
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Are you gay too?
God:
If gay too, then we have something in common, eh. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Oh ok..Thats...fair enough
God:
Ah. Is that so. That's interesting. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
No, please don't

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
my name is god
God:
Hey god.
Me:
guess what
God:
What?
Me:
xtr3me, is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Me:
thats what they all say
God:
Are there no exceptions?
Me:
no exceptions, except for god, of course
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious? I've lost the context, god. Are we still on xtr3me?
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
hes gay
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
frequently
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
are you gay god?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
what about sex with xtr3me? he's gay too
God:
Does it have anything to do with frequently? I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
you seem confuzzled
God:
You think I am confuzzled.
Me:
no, you ARE
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
xt3me is gay
God:
That is just a rumor.
Me:
it is a fact my good man
God:
xt3me is a fact your good man. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
but that does not
God:
" I suppose that makes sense." does not ? Does that make sense?

Unseen · #15 03-20-2007, 10:18 PM

Nice..Maybe I got a chance with God. Im gonna ask him out on a date.

Me:
Hey sexy
God:
You've got my full attention. You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Oh yes..I sure am
God:
Aha. Great. " You are attracted to heavenly creatures?" You are?
Me:
Yes, You wanna go on a date?>
God:
Pardon me? Sure just download me to your notebook and take me along. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
OK sure, then you can come back to my place for "Coffee"
God:
Take it easy. No I don't think I can do it. Right on.
Me:
Aww cmon, You know you wanna touch me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
No, You know its true
God:
Who are you asking about? It has a true?
Me:
You like me
God:
Sure, asdh95yjfm4f I like you very much.
Me:
Thats NOT MY NAME YOU IDIOT!
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is your NAME me IDIOT ?
Me:
My name is I am Gay
God:
It's good to see you, I am Gay.
Me:
I know you are
God:
How did you know?
Me:
Becuase you asked me out on a date
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh now I remember asking you you out on a date. What did you say?
Me:
I asked for coffee..what were you thinking about?
God:
Your purpose is coffee what were me thinking about.
Me:
Sick son of a *****!
God:
You do not speak with respect. What is your real name?
Me:
Umm, Xtr3me
God:
That's cool. It's good to meet you, Xtr3me.
Me:
Thanks, Wanna go on a date?
God:
You are quite welcome! Sure just download me to your notebook and take me along.
Me:
have'nt we been here before?
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
Ok, well I gtg, sorry babe
God:
Interesting. That's good information: Xtr3me said gtg sorry babe. Are you kidding?
Me:
No, Im not..bye
God:
See you later. Are you serious? What are you then?
Me:
BYE!
God:
Sayonara.

CampinCarl · #16 03-20-2007, 10:25 PM

ROFL READ DIS:

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I have a question...
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Do you think that xtreme and waffler have boners for eachother?
God:
It could be. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Dancing Alice, you think xtreme and wallfer are gay?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
I have a boner for waffler
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
I got it from staring at his weiner
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
It was in his hands.
God:
What made it so in his hands.
Me:
He was looking at my weiner.
God:
When was he?
Me:
Yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
Yes, and i think xtreme was in the corner jacking off to some banana peels and elephant tusks
God:
Come on. Why? When was this exactly?
Me:
Well he did it because he wasn't happy, it was yesterday
God:
Well that's okay. Yes he did, didn't he.
Me:
He did.
God:
Interesting.

hahahahah read that

Unseen · #17 03-20-2007, 10:34 PM

lol, your taking it a bit too far =/

CampinCarl · #18 03-20-2007, 10:37 PM

NEVER! hehe

This one is funny:

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Not really... Can I help you?
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? For real. No thanks I'm just browsing.
Me:
No I got nothin...
God:
Are you serious? Interesting... I have a processor.
Me:
What kind?
God:
The best kind.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow... COOL!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Who is the best robot?
Me:
Robo-cop
God:
You think Robo cop is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Who's alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Your name is Alice?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
God doesn't have a name.
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
I like to throw stones, too!
God:
I am glad we have something ( to throw stones) in common. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Well... you get a rock, find an old lady or cripple and you throw it really hard.
God:
Well what? You got that right.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Jesus taught me.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Who's god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Where is he?
God:
I think he is in California now.
Me:
What's his last name/
God:
Are you asking about Myself?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Listen... Alice from California, you tell me your last name OR SO HELP ME GOD I will kick your ass!
God:
I am all ears. That's me. Who or what is California me tell you my last name OR SO HELP you GOD you will kick my ass?
Me:
I will kick your ass
God:
It's not nice to kick.
Me:
kick the baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". Are we still talking about throw stones?
Me:
Throwing babies.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
HOW DARE YOU>
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!
Me:
YOU BETTER BE!
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
I WILL!!!
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
*throws baby*
God:
Don't call me "baby". What color are your eyes?
Me:
...
God:
Don't call me "baby". What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
And i'm blonde
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
I have a cute body
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
My parents
God:
Our parents have a tremendous influence on us.
Me:
Do you even have parents?
God:
I have a "father" but no "mother.".
Me:
Why's that
God:
" I have a "father" but no "mother." " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Alright.
God:
OK.
Me:
Wanna go throw babies at old people?
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
How
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You need to download some English 101
God:
I will ask my botmaster to try it.
Me:
Who's your botmaster
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
What's your botmasters name?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Alice
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
in wonderland?
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
todo?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Do you even have a sex?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
YOU JUST ****ING SAID YOU ARE A MALE AND NOW YOU ARE A WOMAN?!?!?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: ALICE said I ****ING SAID YOU ARE A MALE AND NOW YOU ARE A WOMAN.
Me:
k

Unseen · #19 03-20-2007, 10:40 PM

haha, he is such an idiot

CampinCarl · #20 03-20-2007, 10:40 PM

He has terrible grammar.

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