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_Matt1_ · #1 07-10-2006, 02:15 AM

You wake up face down on the pavement
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last night's party - and there aren't any
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city
Your twin sister forgets your birthday
You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed
Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway
You see the "60 Minutes" News Team waiting in your Office
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off you coat
You walk to work and discover that your dress is tucked in the back of your pantyhose
Your kid say "Did you know that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet?"
You're driving to work smoking a cigarette. At a stop light, you drop it between your legs. As you frantically search for it, a full city bus pulls up alongside of your car.
You wake up to late to catch the van pool - then you realize that you're driving the van this week

HaZal2d0uS · #2 07-10-2006, 02:38 AM

You KNOW its going to be a Bad Day WHEN:

You wake up with a girl and she says she has STD's or AIDs.
Your brother screwed your girlfriend.
You have a person slap you as hard as possible on your bad sunburn.
You find yourself on the couch instead of in bed with the wife.
You wake up to gunfire.
You're all alone at your wedding.
You wake up to find you were spooning with your best friend.
You stomp out poop that was on fire on your deck.
You find your latest business investment in the Stock Market plumeting.
You're own business is being closed because it has no money.
You've never have slept with the opposite sex and you're 40.
You wake up with potatoe chips all over your face with the TV still on.
You find playboys under your husbands pillow after the night you had sex.
You wake up to police sirens at your house.
You have rusty nails to make your house.
You make people laugh with making fun of yourself.
Your friends are backstabbing you.
You get sexually assaulted by your boss and he/she is the same sex.
You find out you're gay and you just got married.
You're stuck in a hole you're digging in the yard.
You just can't get it up.